Winter in Malta

                        Expat Living in Malta                

                    Show me the Heat! 

 

 

See this thing?  This is a gas heater--a staple in almost every Maltese home.  Before three months ago, I had never seen one, touched one or even heard of one. Now I can't live without one.  In fact, we have two of them.

 

The Maltese do not have heat in their homes.  They have no central heating--no radiators, no furnaces in the basements, no hot forced air, no built-in gas heating, no electric heat (except for little electric heaters that cost a lot to run).

 

So what?  Isn't it supposed to be hot here in Malta, or at least warm or mild in the winter?

 

Well, I don't know what it's supposed to be, but I'm freezing here in my Maltese house. 

 

That's because Maltese houses are built for the heat--which comes after the winter--starting maybe in April or so.  I guess the Maltese consider heat their main problem, so the houses are built with thick stone walls and ceramic floor tiles.  But this makes it very cold in the winter.

 

And I don't know what the story is with the toilet seat. My G-d, every time I have to sit down on it, I cringe because it's like jumping ass-first into the Atlantic.  I don't know how the Maltese do it.  I know they have electric blankets, but I'm not that cold in bed. My winter jacket and fleece-lined boots keep me comfortable in bed.

 

Right now, it may be 60 degrees F outside (which I like very much), but it's only about about 50 degrees F inside.  That's cold, when you consider that 68 to 72 is a comfortable room temperature for us Westerners.  So this means that during the winter, it's actually warmer outside than inside.

Now here comes the part about the gas heaters.  They stand about three feet tall, come on wheels, and as you can see from the photo, they are not very attractive.  In fact, they look like small Maltese robots that breathe fire.  They're made to hold these big yellow gas canisters (weighing about 50 pounds)  that come once or twice a week on a big gas-canister truck.  There are many trucks around Malta, each one designated for a particular neighborhood. My own gas-truck driver is named Willie (not Tony).

 

These gas heaters are a major part of the Maltese culture, although the Maltese may not even know it themselves.  But as an outside observer, I see it that way.  Here are my anthropological observations:

 

1. You must buy a gas heater or you'll freeze.  They cost anywhere from 70 to 128 Euros.  I tried not to get one.  I was told to get one, but I resisted.  How could it be that cold in the house, I asked my stupid self?  After all, I'm from the Northeast, from America. I know cold--the Maltese don't.  Well, now I have two of the latest gas heater models--one on each floor--and I'm still freezing.

2. Gas heaters are very scary to non-Maltese. When you're finally able to light one, flames shoot out from the robot's mouth and upwards--until it settles down behind the "safety" grill.   To light it, you have to push on this spark-plug thing and simultaneously turn a dial with little flame icons on it--until you get to the setting you want--one flame, two flames or three flames. The setting I usually go for is: get the f_____ thing on without setting myself on fire. 

 

They say these heaters are "smart."  They have safety mechanisms in them that know if there's a gas leakage, and will turn themselves off if they detect one. Right.  Remember how smart the Titanic was?  My luck, I'm probably the proud owner of the latest and smartest Titanic gas heater.

 

Now, as if you could already guess this, I'm not a big fan of fire.  I'm terrified of it.  I don't like sparks, flames, smoke, carbon monoxide and dioxidifications.  Or smothering from gas fumes.  When I was a kid, the only thing that kept me from smoking was my fear of lighting matches (R and B--please call me). 

 

So the idea of me having to buy one of these Maltese gas robots by myself (Where was Mr. S?  In Germany, taking care of more important things) and learning how to use it--was incredible to me.  But I did it.

 

Yes, this female American did it.  It took a couple of home lessons by the nice man who sold me the heaters and delivered them to me.  But I did it.  Next, I'll tell you about the other main feature of all this: the gas canisters themselves and the rituals surrounding them.

 

Meanwhile, does anyone have a suggestion for the toilet-seat problem?

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Thanks, Angela. No would believe how cold it gets here inside unless they're here to see. Welcome and keep warm as best you can. Ilene

[Angela Tanti]

I know this is an old post but I just came across it while Googling gas heaters in Malta. This is our fist winter here (we're from Edmonton Canada so we KNOW FRICKIN' COLD TOO haha). Its nearing the end of October now and I'm sitting here on our couch with socks, warm slippers, a sweater and a cozy scarf drinking tea! Sounds crazy when its +16C outside but its the humidity and dampness that get you.

Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that I found your post very helpful and I laughed out loud a few times about your experiences with the heater :o)

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hi there, Mary! Was just thinking of you today when I saw your posts! Thanks for telling us about the metric system attempt in America--and what happened to it. Whether I like it or not, the windows are cracked here, so I don't have to worry about that (G-d Willing). And the toilet seat fuzzy? A good idea!

[Mary Bartolotta]

They attempted Metric in the USA in the 70's. They had fixed a date for the cross over. Extreme opposition by older people. They were teaching it in the elementary schools, but gave up completely after so much opposition. As for your heaters, are they vented to the outside? If not, I hope you either keep a window cracked or turn them off after several hours of running. Maybe they still sell fuzzy toilet seat covers. Check the Internet.

[Dee Owen]

That brings back memories of long ago in the 'old'country'! Gas heaters on wheels and cold toilet seats. Back then...they made furry washable covers for the seat...kept the b-m from freezing! Maybe you could make one!

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Thanks, and Sahha to you, too!

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hi R, thanks so much for your entertaining comment! First of all, I don't know why they don't use Centigrade in the US. Probably for the usual arrogant American reasons. But I'm too old to learn it now, anyway. I haven't heard of the geezers you talk about. But I did find something that helps for the bathroom: a small electric heater that I use for that purpose alone. of course, I won't take a long bath because I'm afraid of how much the electricity will cost. But at least I can get out of the water that way!

[R]

Hi Eileen, I really like reading your posts, as a Maltese man living in Warsaw, Poland, people laugh at me when I say the Maltese winters are so cold.
They always me "how cold does it actually get?" I say that the temperature can drop to around 6C (I don't know what that is in F... why do you guys still use that anyway? do you know how convenient the metric system is? but I am digressing...)
Well, anyway, my wife says she will NOT go to Malta in winter because it is too cold. And she's Polish!
Apart from the issues duly mentioned in the blog post, such as the architecture and the humidity, I would also like to say that at my folk's place they have these teeny weeny water heaters (called "geezers" in Maltese), which take AGES to warm, and don't fill half a bath. So long, hot baths are out of the question.
Well keep up the good work Eileen and Sahha!
R

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hey, there, Malta Girl! Thanks for your suggestion. But the seat is wooden, I believe! That's what I don't understand how it can be so cold. It's definitely not ceramic. Where do you live? Can I come over and use the bathroom sometimes? Sorry--that's not very nice of me.

[MaltaGirl]

If your toilet seat is ceramic, change it to plastic (much less cold).