Starting to Teach EFL in Malta

 

      I have my First Fan at the School

 

I just finished my first week at the school and haven't seen--or rather taught--any students.  I've seen plenty, but they all belong to other teachers.

 

Nevertheless, I have my first fan:

                                  Photo by Richard Weninger

 

I have a terrible sweating problem, especially when I get nervous.  It's a sweat attack, actually.  It has nothing to do with hot flashes; those are minor compared to these sweat attacks.  And one of my daughters has inherited it.  Her father back in Boston also has sweat attacks.  So given that both her parents suffered from sweats, she had a very high chance of inheriting it. 

 

Sweat attacks start with being a little nervous--usually in a new situation--like going to teach English in a foreign school in a foreign country.  And it being about 85 degrees F on that day inside the school before the precious AC is turned on.  That will do it.

 

The symptoms are this: You feel a little trickle starting under your hairline on your forehead.  First it starts in the middle, then another couple of trickles start at your temples.  Next, you feel small beads of sweat on your upper lip.  At this point, as soon as you feel it, it's too late to stop it. The sweat attack must run its full course.

 

Forget dabbing at the small trickles now going down your nose and the sides of your face.  It won't stop it.  At this point, people are starting to notice.   One reason is that your hair is now completely soaked.  And it's still coming forth steadily from the sweat pores on your stupid face.

 

"Are you OK?"  This is usually the first question/remark by a bystander who announces that the little perspiration you thought no one would really notice is now a public affair. 

 

Another favorite of mine to hear is:  "Wow. You're really hot, aren't you?"  This simple statement does a lot to stop the sweat attack, let me tell you.

 

In fact, this is what the assistant director of studies said to me at the school the first day when my sweat attack reared its perspiring head.  Except, she didn't say "wow" because the Maltese don't use the word wow when speaking English. 

 

Then come the explanations: 

-I'm OK, I just sweat--or

-I'm OK, I just sweat like this when I start teaching EFL in a foreign school in Malta on a Monday.  And thanks for noticing, by the way--or

-I have hot flashes once in a while.  But those are mild compared to what you see right now.

With all this, there's only one solution.  A fan. A fast-blowing powerful blast of air that I put directly in front of my face until I'm dried out.

I did have one of those little hand-held fans with me.  It didn't help this time.  In my nervousness about my sweat attack, I realized too late that I was holding it the wrong way and the air was coming out the other side. But never mind.  Now, I've decided to go big time.

I asked the director if I could bring in my own small fan.  After seeing what I looked like the previous day--and knowing she had to maintain the school's image as a posh learning center and not a sweat shop--she had no problem with me bringing in a fan of my own.   Oh, except one thing--I have to take the fan with me wherever I go because it could disappear somehow.

So here I am.  I'm the only American teacher in this school, sweating and walking around with a fan in a shopping bag up and down five flights of stairs.

I haven't even started teaching yet--this happens Monday--and I'm already sweating bullets (that's one of those idioms, by the way, that I'll be teaching my EFL students a lot earlier than I had anticipated).

Comments

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hi Xkupa,

Thanks so much for all your info on the ELF teaching requirements here in Malta. I'm sure that this additional info will help readers---Ilene

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hi Mary, thanks for all your comments and congratulations. I really look forward to hearing from you and your reactions to everything. Hope you had a good time in VA. I don't know if Ricky will teach German to the French students, but I'm learning more French than they're learning English right now. More on the French later!!---Ilene

[Mary Bartolotta]

Wow. You've been busy. I am in VA and finally have the chance to catch up with all the fun and games from Malta. Congratulations for many things, but number one the good mammo. My mother also had breast cancer. I've had surgery and my 39 year-old daughter had a scare this spring, but it turned out benign.

Congrats on getting hired! How was your first actual teaching week?

The pedicure experiences made me laugh. No massage chair? Not too posh. Your description of a Maltese mammo, would also be interesting, I'm sure.

Those crazy ships. Never knew such things exist. I still don't understand how they work.

The sweats. No congratulations there, but plenty of understanding and sympathy. Just don't let them steal your fan!! You will definitely have better arms after lugging that around for the next few months.

Congrats to Alexandre for winning the photo contest. Glad to know you're keeping your brother busy with your mail.

Ye gads-jelly fish. Do not like them. The pee thing sounds really wierd, but a little pee can go a long way.

I think I've pretty much covered all the last month's postings. I hope you're well and happy, in spite of sweats. Maybe Mr.S. could teach German to the French after they learn English from you. What do you think? Ha, ha. I'm looking forward to the continuing saga of teaching ESL. Ciao for now.

Mary

[Joe Arevalo]

Hi Ilene, sweating, how I can relate. I looked throughout the site for information about Malta's teaching requirements but couldn't find them. I will insert them here as received from the EFL monitoring board (efl.mb.medc@gov.mt). Talking about making one sweat, these are things I didn't know I would have to fulfill in order to teach English in Malta.

The requirements for an EFL Teaching Permit in Malta are:

* an Advanced Level certificate in English of a recognized institution, or comparable qualifications (a public EFL Examination for prospective teachers which is held twice a year also substitutes this requirement);

* a recognized 60-hour induction course in the methodology of teaching English as a foreign language, approved by the Minister on the recommendation of the Monitoring Board.

Instead of these 2 requirements the Monitoring Board recognizes the Cambridge CELTA or the Trinity Cert. TESOL.

With regard to teaching experience, whilst this is acknowledged by the Monitoring Board it does not substitute the above legal requirements.

You may also wish to note that you can have your qualifications assessed by the Malta Qualifications Recognition Information Centre (MQRIC).

The next CELTA in Malta is November 09. What did everyone else do or how did you all do it?

[Joe Arevalo]

Ilene, if not exhausted, can't wait to hear about week two adventures.

[Sennuwy (an ancient Egyptian name)]

Hi Dee, It's good to know you're in the sweating business, too. The lugging part gave me an excuse to buy a really nice, big summer bag to put my fan and other survival gear in. Thanks for the good-luck wishes; I need it!---Ilene

[Dee Owen]

I wont say 'wow' as I can empathize. Everything I do down here has me soaking wet in a minute. A 'personal fan' sounds a great idea. But having to lug it around with you...thats a bit much! Have fun with the first class on Monday!